Everyone knows about my crush on this cute stoner from Twitter, but I’ve been trying to play it cool and lay low, act like I don’t give a fuck, you know.. like how a guy won’t text a girl for a couple of days? Well like that but instead of not texting her I don’t post her booty pics in hopes that she’ll come begging for my attention. Well, she didn’t. Like any other weak-willed man chasing a gorgeous girl, I failed. I sent the text. I made the call. I said “AY YO GIRL Y U NO FUK WIT ME?!1?”
Alright, no I didn’t. She would never trust me with her phone number. But I am actually legit obsessed with this girl’s ass and I’d pay good money to high-dive face first in to it.